Not Here, Not There
by PyroTheWereCat
Summary: L x Light YAOI. Light has given up being Kira and is now secretly dating our favorite detective. But all is not well. Strained for love, will a holiday to England save the boys' affair? M for off-screen sex and epic fondling.


I wrote this as a commission for *elizabethEPIDEMIC on DeviantART. You can find it there too.

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It had been two years since Light had given up on being Kira. He was smart enough to figure out there was no way L _wouldn't_ end up accusing him. He never gave up ownership of the Death Note though. Deep down he was afraid of what might happen if he did. Since no more criminal were dying prematurely the Kira case went cold soon after and even L himself let it go. He didn't let Light go. He insisted on visiting frequently and soon he was there so often he might as well have been living there. Light had asked him once,

"Why do you keep coming here?" He may have been mistaken but he could have sworn L looked hurt.

"Because I like Light-kun," the eccentric detective replied softly, "Do you not want me here?" The question surprised Light and instantly made him feel awful. Ryuk had laughed then, commenting on how strange the situation was.

"No," Light said, "I don't mind you here at all, Ryuzaki. I'm just a little confused. Not six months ago you were saying you thought I was Kira." L's wide black eyes were unreadable.

"Oh, Light-kun, I _know_ you were Kira. But I am human and I can't help it if I like someone." Light couldn't quite remember what connected this statement with the following action but somehow he was on his back with L over him on all fours, staring at the younger man with such intensity it made him very uncomfortable.

"How long did you plan on making me wait?" L demanded, "How obvious have I made it that I want you?" For once in his life Light felt powerless. Again the connection in his memory was gone but he remembered L hurriedly undressing both of them then Light rolling him onto the floor. L positioned himself on his stomach, already short of breath. Light was acting without thinking, somehow incredibly turned on by this bizarre person beneath him. And somehow it felt better than with any of the girls he had previously slept with. Maybe it was the spontaneity or the tightness but it just felt _right_. Afterward was slightly awkward. Light, realizing what he had just done and who with, fell back into a sitting position. He leaned against the side of the sofa, embarrassed and horrified. L shakily rose from the floor and sort of half-walked, half-crawled to him.

"It's okay, Light-kun," he said, "I feel it too." And then he kissed him, gently, sweetly, his tongue sliding effortlessly around Light's mouth. Ryuk, who had been watching the whole time, snickered from atop the sofa.

"You always find some new way to amuse me, Light," he rasped, "I'm glad I haven't killed you yet." Light shivered and held L closer. _What should I do now?_ he wondered.

Now, two years later, Light wondered the same thing. He and L were still together, unbeknownst to others. This secrecy felt amazing; Light had never experienced something like this before. When he was in college and even in high school he never felt the need to hide a relationship. He never boasted but a simple, 'I have a girlfriend' was sufficient. He tried to tell himself it was because this was his first time with a man, the great L himself nonetheless, that he felt so strange but it didn't sit well. The whole relationship was awkward. They almost never talked but had sex nearly every other day. And each time it happened Light went though the same routine: try to push L away, end up having mind-numbing sex, and remain awake for hours trying to process it. It might be different if there was some variety but it always felt the same. He felt…like there was no love in it at all. _But that was the way it always was with the girls…_ He didn't want this to go that way. The questions and theories in his mind were driving him insane and he couldn't for the life of him find an answer. But one night (after a particularly vocal fornication that left two sore throats in its wake) L proposed an idea which sought to change their current status.

"Light-kun, I'd like you to come to England with me," he said without lifting his head from Light's still damp chest.

"England?" Light repeated with mild surprise, "Is there a case there?" L sighed.

"No," he said tracing a long finger around Light's left nipple idly, "I really just would like you to see where I grew up. It's quite beautiful." _Are we getting closer?!_ Light shifted his right arm, the one holding the older man, to a more comfortable position.

"Sure," he responded, "Sounds like fun." L smiled and gave his lover a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you, Light-kun. That makes me very happy." Light blushed.

"Errr…You can tell me the details tomorrow. I'm kind of tired right now."

"Oh, I'll bet you are." Light grimaced.

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up." L only nuzzled him affectionately.

"Ooh, yay!" Ryuk said appearing from the wall above the bed and nearly giving Light a heart attack, "I've never been to England before!" _Why can't you stay in another room when I'm with L?_ But he highly doubted that would happen.

One month later the genius lovers and the easily amused shinigami were in England, headed for Wammy House. They went by train.

"Wow, Ryuzaki," Light said, impressed, "It really is beautiful here. It must have been difficult to leave." L absentmindedly licked a lollipop and stared out the window.

"Mm, it was at first but I knew I needed to focus on other things quite soon," he replied, "It's surprisingly easy how quickly the human mind can adjust like that."

"Ryuzaki? How long did-" L interrupted by pointing out the window and saying,

"There's our stop! A staff member from the House should be here with transportation. I'm terribly sorry, Light-kun, I got excited. What were you saying?" Light felt like those huge black eyes were burning into his very soul.

"I was asking how long you lived here," he said, trying not to appear uncomfortable, "I remember you telling me but I can't recall what it was."

"Five years. I was very young when I came to Wammy House and not much older when I left."

"Hm." For the past two weeks or so Light felt a gap growing between the two of them. He worried constantly that it was his fault. He hadn't touched L in that time span due to his growing unease. When L wasn't around he asked Ryuk about it, the only other one who knew about them.

You're always too hesitant in the beginning and cum too fast," Ryuk complained, "I think Ryuzaki's getting annoyed with you."

"What should I do? I'm still not used to this, even after two years."

"Why don't you start it for once? You should know by now what turns him on. Be kinky with it. I'd _loooove_ to see something new." Light didn't know if he could even touch L without the latter touching him first.

Just like L had said, a car was there to take them to Wammy House. L had a private conversation with the director when they arrived, leaving Light to wait outside. Ryuk laughed at his apparent edginess.

"What's the matter, Light?" he asked, "You're never like this."

"Oh, just the usual," Light replied sarcastically, "I'm wondering if Ryuzaki still loves me, if I really love him, if I can ever initiate anything or stay uke top which is a _CONTRADICTION_, I might add. You shinigami are very lucky."

"Hmm, yeah. Even luckier if we had Yaoi Notes in addition to Death Notes." Light's face flushed with annoyance.

"If you haven't noticed, this is real and not a yaoi story!" The shinigami cracked his neck.

"I've been reading a lot of that recently. You should too. Pretty good stuff."

"I'm not gay, dammit!" Ryuk's permanent grin seemed to widen.

"Then why the hell are you screwing another man?" Light stared at the ground.

"He's…different. I can't quite explain it." Ryuk gave a tiny chuckle. L appeared at the door. He seemed to Light to be moving in slow motion.

"Here's your chance, Light," the shinigami said, "He's prime!" Light faced L.

"Well, Light-kun, we can walk around inside if you want or-" He never finished his sentence. Light pushed L against the wall, roughly kissing his neck. _Here I am starting it, Ryuk,_ he thought, _Hope you're happy._ L gripped his lover's shoulders, leaning his head back to allow full access to his pale throat.

"Light-kun," he breathed, "Not here…It's too open."

"Let them see," Light growled, his voice husky with lust. He grabbed the older man through his jeans, producing a gasp and a tighter grip on his shoulders. The detective was a delightful shade of red and that only turned Light on more.

"Unngh…Light-kun, not there…Ah!" Light smirked. Ryuk was right. He knew exactly how to weaken him, make him pant…

"Let me hear you beg," he whispered, "And I'll stop." He gave his partner a gentle squeeze, causing him to moan loudly.

"Please…Light-kun…A-ah!" Light had begun massaging the increasingly harder bulge in L's jeans.

"Please what, Ryuzaki?" he asked in a falsely sweet voice, "You need to be specific." Trembling violently with labored breathing, L spoke again. It was clear from his strained voice and tortured expression he was trying desperately to keep his cries at bay.

"P-p-please…stop, Light-kun. I'm begging you. I'm going to…A-a-ah-haaah!" The detective covered his mouth to stifle the sound as he came; Light could feel a slight dampness through the denim. He released him, letting his arms rest around L's narrow and bony hips. L leaned on him, trying to catch his breath.

"I'm sorry," Light said, "That was a little too far."

"Light-kun," L panted, "If you want to do it I have a private room upstairs." Light blinked.

"Is that what you were going to say when you came out?"

"Part of it, yes." _I feel stupid._

"Umm, okay, yeah. Lead the way." Ryuk was laughing hysterically as he floated in behind them.

"That was priceless!" he gasped between giggles, "I can't wait to see what happens next!"

An hour later L was collapsed in a bruised, bitten, and sweating heap on the floor. Light leaned against the wall and slowly slid down. _I think I just had_, he thought, _the best sex of my life._

"Ryuzaki," he said, "Can I tell you something?"

"Go ahead," the heap wheezed.

"I think I love you."

"Good. Because there is a 98.7 percent chance I love you." Light smiled.

"You were pretty tight today," he commented, "Is that because I haven't touched you in two weeks?"

"Hm! Maybe so." Silence filled the atmosphere for a few moments.

"Ryuzaki?" Light began, breaking it.

"Yes?"

"How do you know if I really was Kira?"

"The cameras and bugs in your room were placed the day before you discovered them. I made it look like the day you did so I could compare your behavior. I saw you talking to someone who wasn't there and planning out specific deaths for later. _Shit._

"Oooh, busted!" Ryuk laughed.

"But you won't arrest me."

"No. First of all, you are no longer Kira so I have no reason to. Also, how could I be with you if you were in jail?" That made sense.

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?" Light paused before saying softly,

"I'm glad you brought me here." L chuckled.

"Me too."

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Author Comments from dA:

First of my ten free commission one shots! For :iconelizabethepidemic: I HOPE YOU LIKE! I worked my tiny ass off on it! It's so veeeeeery difficult to write time jumps like what goes on here. And that fondle scene does not count as smut cause I didn't describe anything except that L had a JimP moment .com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=channel_page and Light's hand was in a bad place. Also, pants = fondle, no pants = smut. Ryuk giving Light advice on his sex life = epic win. Your face when you read this = priceless. I mean wordless. For everything else there's MasterCard. XD

Light and L belong to Ohba and Obata


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